I have demons in me.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
