Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
