Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
