you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
