yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
