I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
