We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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