Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
