He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
