You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
