i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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