doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He has the fingertips of a God
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