I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
