Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just high enough for therapy.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
