its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
