They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
