Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
my being single is dangerous.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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