I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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