why didn't you poke me back
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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