i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The adults are the big ones right?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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