all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
