He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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