In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
