some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
