Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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