are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
