i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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