What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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