Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
