i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
