I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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