According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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