Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
3pm strippers are depressing
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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