you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
