well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
