Sry I called you an 8
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
