i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
