I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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