I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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