I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
