My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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