So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
