i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
