he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
