She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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