Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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