he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? šš
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
At least Iām an āessential employeeā and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesnāt ask why Iām essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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