I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
