so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
