I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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