Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I need to calm my uterus...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
