Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
