i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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