Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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