Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Text me some of your sweat
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
