I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So drunk its hurt
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
